This is really neat. It's a remix of a song from Final Fantasy X-2, '1000 Words,' in which the English version is layered over the Japanese.

I inflated my gymnastics ball this evening, and did some little exercises on it while watching Velocity. It looks fun on the fitness shows, but I can feel it, it's a real workout. My stomach and thighs were strained. Yech. Oh, well, perhaps I can learn a back-bridge again.

Adam's satellite is all installed, and he called earlier in the midst of watching tons of shows + cartoons I do not get. He's nervous about tomorrow - my first time alone with Joel since... the painful stuff. I wish there were some miracle way to ease his mind, to make him realize that I'm all his, that he can trust me. What I did hurt us both. Perhaps cruelly, I compared it to a child sticking a fork in a toaster. When he's shocked, burned, and injured, he learns that that was a bad thing to have done, and knows better than to do it anymore. Though he knew better to do it in the first place, something compelled him to do it anyway, and he learned the hard way why the wiser had always advised against it.

Enough of that. I finally uploaded my website's new layout. It's nothing much, but it's different.

His birthday is sneaking up - January 29. He'll be twenty! It astounds me that my boyfriend will be twenty years old, a landmark age. I was similarly shocked when he turned nineteen. Meanwhile, I'm stuck in the teens until the first week of August. Not that I mind that - I'm in no hurry to escape the era, but I feel puny and immature around people whose age is rounded up before mine. (Not really - I am not that insecure. Just in a fake, joking-mopems sort of way.)

Anyway, tonight, I thought of good gifts to get him. I like that he + I wear the same size in a lot of clothing styles. Though, my feet are a tad bigger than his, and predictably, he doesn't wear women's tops.

Blast, it's 3:30 a.m. I had intended to hit the PS2 for awhile before I resign to bed, but it's late to start it up. My sister is still here, sleeping in the next room. This is her last night here, though. My older brother showed me a photo today of him + me when I was two and a half. He took me for his sixth-grade child-care module's final project - a mini-day care, for which every classmate had to bring a young child. I'm playing with something on a table, and he's leaning over me, watching. It made me smile.

I'm getting tired, so off I log.